So as I mentioned before, we might experience some bumps as I transition into my new schedule. I didn’t finish the memoir for today so our Memoir Monday series will have to start next week. I did want to give you a small peek into what my first day back in the real school environment was like. This is teacher planning week, so my morning was spent in meetings.
A few things stood out. I would like to share two of the most…jarring? Disturbing? Eye-roll inducing? You decide!
After a morning breakfast and principal’s message (we’ll come back to this in a sec) we were required to attend 4 breakout sessions. Ignoring the fact that my fellow teachers fucked this up and were unable to rotate in numerical order if they started at any station other than #1, the second station I went to (#4 for the record) went over “discipline” (aggressive finger quotes) which mainly involved talking about how kids can’t get to class on time, tracking dress code violations, and using acronyms in a futile attempt to build school spirit. At the end everyone got VERY VERY VERY excited about new school-themed lanyards AND THEN TALKED ABOUT FLAIR. You know, pins? FUCKING PINS. That was when I noticed that the veteran teachers from this school had lanyards COATED in pins and the assistant principal that was a part of this session handed out small pins TO ADD TO OUR LANYARDS TO SHOW TEAM SPIRIT. Oh my god I cannot. Someone please tell me this isn’t real. I’m caught in the movie Office Space and can’t get out. I mean, I guess it’s a thing to do, it’s just not a thing I’m going to do unless it becomes a requirement. If I have an option then NOPE.
Okay, so let’s go back to that principal’s message. After he listed the people that left and the new teachers that replaced them alternately like we had killed the ones that left and taken their position via absorbing their power through mortal combat, he took a question from a teacher about the work polos we had been given. They are white polos, which people had specifically requested not to have because they are notoriously see-through (to which he responded: “you’ll just have to wear the proper foundation garments then” – IT IS FLORIDA I AM NOT WEARING LAYERS OMG), but the main question arose from the backwards American flag patch sewn military-style into the sleeves of each and every polo. The first question was “why is this flag backwards?” to which a detailed explanation about the military-style was provided. Apparently because when the cavalry carries a flag, the blue appears on the right side of the flag because it would obviously be floating majestically behind the bearer.
But then people were like “why are you making us wear an American flag like the military?” to which he responded that he likes to think of himself as a patriotic human being and he made the decision to have them placed there, so if we object to wearing the American flag well then…<dramatic pause>…”you’ll just have to come and talk to me and I’ll get you a plain shirt.”
Translation: I dare you to come talk to me and my patriotic self about how you hate America and my decisions to honor her in order to request a plain shirt. I FUCKING DARE YOU.
Other stuff happened, but those two were the most surreal and stuck in my memory so here I am sharing them with you. Enjoy!
Don’t forget if you would like to help me stock my classroom for the kiddos, I do have a wish list set up to help me do that after being let go from my job earlier in the summer. Thanks to everyone that has sent items already, my room is looking awesome because YOU are awesome. You are in no way obligated to do this, but it is here if you would like to add some tax deductions to your 2017 receipts. 🙂 Here is the link: http://a.co/8V3X8T1