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Survival

Oh my god it is October. WHY WAS SEPTEMBER SUCH AN ASSHOLE? I just feel like I’m lying in a mud puddle but really it’s quicksand and the harder I struggle the more messy and stuck I get. At least I’ve pulled myself out enough that my depression doesn’t have her foot on my head pushing me down into the puddle anymore. She hangs out close by though, just got bored with hassling me.

With October here I read a post on Twitter that suggested that we all use this opportunity to start anew, to set some new goals, especially because September was a literal hurricane and a figurative shitstorm. I love lists and I love starting over, so along with the books I’ve got on my docket I’ve made some decisions to get me through the rest of the calendar year.

  1. I’m suspending production of my podcast, Based on the Book, until January. I do not have a reliable enough routine to get an episode up on a consistent weekly basis, and that’s how I want to run the ship. I was also getting a little bored with my setup, and I want to take some time to reassess and plan a little better for a format that can stand up to the weekly posting. I know I’m funny, I know I love to read, I should be able to do something cool. This gives me 3 months to figure that out.
  2. A personal goal is to be more in shape. We have a gym membership but I haven’t been going because everything, including my thoughts and motivation, have been on fire. This isn’t about losing weight, it’s about making sure my heart and body are healthy. So this month I’m going to make a concerted effort to go to the gym 3 times a week and do whatever I feel like doing. Any more concrete plans than that will probably trip me up. I know that sounds weird, but at this stage just going is going to be the success. And even though the holidays are a hard time to go, they are actually a fabulous time for me to go because it’s not crowded. 🙂
  3. I need to spend a lot less time on the internet and more time journaling, reading, and spending time outside in the pool. So I’m going to either figure out a time of day when I can shut all the screens off and be in my own head (in a good way) or choose a weekend day to spend like, 9am to 6pm doing things that are not electronics based, including video games. I’m not sure what’s going to work the best but I’m definitely going to think about it this week and try some things out. My mental health is really suffering lately and I think part of it is making this effort to bring quiet into my mind.

If you’d like to help with my going-to-the-gym goal, just ask me once in awhile if I’ve gone lately. If I think I’m going to disappoint someone or people actually care to know, I’ll probably be more likely to go. 🙂 Just don’t ask me about weight because I won’t know.

See you tomorrow! Same angel time, same angel channel.

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