The world is somehow more on fire than it was a month ago which is terrifying, but impressive, so to throw some water on the flames I wanted to share some good things that have been going on here at Casa Angry.
First, I’ve been going to the gym on a fairly regular basis. I started while the husband was away for a week, and for the past four weeks I’ve been hitting it on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. My resting heart rate has come down from a lofty 80bpm to what seems like a more reasonable 66bpm (even though the internet assures me that anything between 60 and 100bpm is “normal”), I’m sleeping better, and I WILL GET MICHELLE OBAMA’S ARMS. My depression stays at bay better when I have a clear routine and clear expectations, so this was a welcome and helpful addition to my week.
Second, to go along with the gym thing, I’ve been eating way better. More fruits and veggies along with two cups of milk per day and 8-8oz glasses of water are all probably contributing to me feeling better too. I’m doing this to help with my depression as well as for my health. I am losing a little weight but if that’s what my body wants to do naturally then that’s okay. It’s not my overall goal. Mostly I want to discourage diabetes, heart disease, and this fucking depression.
Third: I AM WRITING A BOOK DID YOU HEAR??? As of this very evening I have a crisp 23,742 words in Google Docs which amounts to 47 pages and if I’m being super honest I don’t know if that’s good or bad for almost 30 days of work but I’m doing it. The best I can find online is that I should aim for like 60,000 to 100,000 words, with that upper end amounting to a 400ish page book. I figure I’ll write until the story is done, then as I edit I can cut or add as I see the need and the word count will fall where it will.
Fourth: I transferred to a different school in my district after I was offered the job this past Monday. The school I was at this past year was not the best fit in a lot of different ways, so while I will miss the kids I really loved there I am looking forward to taking on this new challenge. I will be responsible for Advanced Placement (AP) Calculus, International Baccalaureate (IB) maths (junior and senior levels), and one weird section of Algebra 1. I practically begged my old school to give me harder classes to teach, but the cards didn’t fall that way. I am thankful for this new opportunity and I hope I can rise to the challenge (duh, I will, I’M A FUCKING BOSS).
Lastly I am really excited about our finances. It might be tacky to mention this, but every. single. summer. before this one was an absolutely terrible and bumpy ride on the struggle bus and we often ran out of money in mid-July for one reason or another. This summer we’re going to make it all the way to when we start getting paid again without having to max out the credit cards or make a $5 Little Caesar’s pizza last for an entire week of dinners. One year it was so bad that during teacher planning week they said they had an extra two catered trays of ziti the teachers didn’t eat AND I CLAIMED THEM BOTH and brought them home and that’s what we had for lunch and dinner for like two weeks until we started getting paid again. Teachers don’t get paid until the last day of their third week back (one week of prep, two weeks with students) and honestly that’s ridiculous but this year we shouldn’t have to worry.
Last summer around this time I was frantically searching for a teaching job after “leaving” my online teaching gig. This year I took a job I wanted because I chose to go out and look for a new one and we have enough saved to be safe through the barren summer months. Security and safety are so amazing. They offer freedom an choice and room to breathe and think. Now granted, we’ll need that first paycheck right away, but there won’t be a gap and … I don’t know guys it just makes me want to cry and sob with relief.
I’m surrounded with books to read, I have words to write, there are puppers to snuggle and kitties to pet. There is enough money for food and shelter and a movie or two. These are some but not all of the lights for me right now in this very dark place, and I want to thank all of you that read and follow this blog for bringing light too. I means so much to me that my words are words you want to read. Thanks for being here. Stay strong.
Read. Be brave. Stay angry.