So you’re interested in a show but you haven’t quite bought into it yet. You’ve seen the first two episodes and it’s interesting enough that you’re willing to give it an honest shot. A huge twist was just revealed at the end of the second episode and you are super curious about what might happen next.

There is nothing that kills moderate enthusiasm quite like a bottle episode. A bottle episode is when the characters are trapped in a room/elevator/place and we are stuck with them, watching them “get to know each other” or “figure out how to escape.” Five minutes into the episode I was yelling “I’M BORED” at the tv while the husband laughed. The impossible has happened – Disney has made me not care one tiny bit about Loki. I don’t care if they escape this apocalypse they are hiding in. I don’t care about the half-assed, off-hand, barely detectable comments about LGBTQIA+ to make it seem like the show will be inclusive. I hope they both die and the show ends as soon as possible.

I’m even going to spoil the end of the episode for you! They spend the entire time on this planet that is doomed trying to recharge the battery of a Time Door machine that Loki is hiding from Lady Loki with his powers, only to eventually find out that he has broken it completely and their only hope is to get on the “Ark” spaceship that is taking only the rich people off the planet ahead of the destruction. They fight their way to the ship just as it is destroyed by one of the multitude of falling rocks. The episode ends with them throwing up their hands and walking back the way they came. Even a bottle episode is supposed to resolve itself. When the credits started rolling I stopped yelling “I’M BORED” and instead yelled “THAT’S THE END???”

There was one small tidbit of information that we learn about the Time Authority that is relevant to the plot of the first two episodes, which is that the people who work there are all variants too instead of having been created by the Time Lords or whatever like they are taught. In that brief moment I was like, “wow I would like to know more about that!” The moment was very brief.

I am going to have to keep watching these because the husband wants to, and I’ll be here next week talking about the next one. I hope the episodes get better. But if Falcon/Winter Soldier was any indication, they are only going to get more boring. They peaked with WandaVision, and it’s all downhill from there.

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