I saw this movie on Saturday, April 28th and have been processing it since. This movie is the culmination of 10 years of interwoven Marvel stories which the husband and I took the trouble to watch in order to prepare.

Some thoughts:

• Over and over again this movie struggles with whether sacrifice or the individual is the most important. Is one person’s efforts laudable if their sacrifice saves the world? Or are we more about “one person is worth saving every time, don’t sacrifice one person for the whole”? I feel like this movie couldn’t decide. Dr. Strange is like “I’m gonna save the universe over saving you scrubs” but then hands the time stone over anyway. Vision and Scarlet Witch could have destroyed the mind stone like ten different times in the movie but we’re like “this is what we’re fighting for, we don’t want to sacrifice it” but then they do it anyway, and then it doesn’t even matter because Thanos has come too far and has the time stone and OMG.
• EVERYTHING DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A LOVE STORY
• WHY DOES GAMORA GIVE UP THE LOCATION OF THE SOUL STONE IMMEDIATELY LIKE ONE PERSON BEING TORTURED ISN’T WORTH THE ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE OMG
• The deaths that happen at the end in Voldemort-flaking-away fashion ruin the effect of the movie. I know what movies are coming out in the next FIVE years, and I’m supposed to believe that Black Panther is gone forever? That the entirety of the Guardians of the Galaxy are gone forever? And if this is ultra random, how are all the OG Avengers still there? I can’t even get one Powerball number but Black Widow gets to live? I feel like that entire experience should have been harrowing, but it wasn’t because we know they’ll be back. *Fart Noise*
• One exception to my previous thought is that Spiderman’s death WILL RIP YOUR HEART OUT. Hearing a child beg for his life and whimper that he’s not ready to go as he fades away in Iron Man’s arms had me physically sobbing in the theater. If I hadn’t been in public I would have been making much uglier noises. I remember like, pushing myself back into my chair as if it might get me away from the horror.
• I am disappointed in the Hulk.
• WHY DID THEY TAKE VISION TO WAKANDA TO DEAL WITH THE STONE AND MAKE THE WAR HAPPEN THERE THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.
• Why does everyone just hand over stones? Dr. Strange takes all this time to protect the stone, refuses to hand it over, but then hands it over in return for Iron Man’s life. I guess he might have seen a future where Iron Man HAS to live for them to succeed, but still it felt like seeing him suffer for the whole movie was all for nothing.
• Speaking of which, this entire movie feels like a waste of time, like I went through it for nothing. Because it’s all going to be reversed and the REAL trauma is coming in the next part in 2019.

It was good in parts, predictable in others, confusing in places because you didn’t understand why characters were doing what they were doing. I think I was equal parts in shock and offended by it. Everything that happened was terrible, but did the directors and writers really think I was stupid enough to swallow it all? I mean, seriously.